OK so I have learned something about myself; I have learned so much about myself but I’m going to talk about this one thing, ‘I do not enjoy writing, blogging, journaling whatever you call it ‘I don’t like it’. I’ve read and listened to so many people in my life talking about how once they got into journaling they felt sooo good. Bah Humbug is all I say. It causes me stress it takes so much of my time I just don’t enjoy it. With that said I will continue to try. I will admit that I have written some great things, and the experiences I have had in my life it would help other people going through similar things. I have written many times and put it in a file for ‘My future book’ which I plan to have someone else write for me, they will read what I wrote while I tell them in my own words about what they just read then write the best ‘you can do it too’ motivating manual that ever exists. 🙂
OK so now that I have proven that I can ‘dream’ I’ll get back to the real work, reading, looking for shapes raising my beautiful children; ok and some more writing LOL
I’m sorry you had to wait so long for this!
I can be what I will to be, I always keep my promises,
Today is my birthday. How do I feel? Like it is my birthday and I don’t want to do anything even though I am late with ‘all’ of my homework which I am so excited to get to. Do I really have to have a birthday this year?!! Don’t want to. I am blessed to have Loving kids, family and friends to force me to celebrate. I usually LOVE this day what the ……
I feel changes happening and this year I am simply observing and enjoying the ride. I love doing the work and even feeling almost physically ill sometimes because of the old peptides crying out for old habits. It is actually kinda fun because again I am just notating what is going on, building new healthy thoughts and feelings and then new life!
I always keep my promises, (oh and this year I have completed every item on my service card each week….WOW what a big deal that has been)
This week I am reminded that I know what I want. I know the 1 thing that makes me sing. So why is it so difficult to write it down in a story like it has already happened?!
Back to the grindstone again and again and again!! It looks like I am complaining but I am truly not. I actually am excited to continue the journey the more I work on myself the better I get. Here’s to my future me!
Well hello there, How ya doin? … here is how this week is going … huh
I got nothin. AND also so much.
I’m much more calm and observant these days just want relax and heal. I can’t seem to get an understanding of how I really do feel.
What I don’t want to feel is fear, and I think I am consumed with it. When a noise comes out of the quiet I do not only jump, my body goes into a panic, survive and protect mode! I am quick to become the strong Mom/ woman I am and handle it if it is one of the things that I am panicking about. The past 2 years have been hell in some ways and heaven in all. I am so blessed and my mission is to dwell on that, lol still a work in progress.
Lesson 3 #18 But the man who knows that he has a solar plexus will not FEAR criticism or anything else; he will be too busy radiating courage, confidence, and power; he will anticipate success by his mental attitude: he will pound barriers to pieces, and leap over the chasm of doubt and hesitation which fear places in his path.
When I think about the fact that fear, doubt, hesitation can all be simply eliminated just by being constantly aware of where I am allowing my thoughts to go? What more can we ask of ourselves but to respect what we say and think.
EASY! right?….huh I’ll keep you posted on how easy it becomes. As of now I feel the power of the reading. I feel the power of pride in taking much better care of myself mentally.
What is it? I really don’t know but I feel excited for the first time ‘ever’; well maybe that’s a little exaggeration, but I am excited to write here every day.
I will write exactly what is in my head at the moment (now THAT is scary).
For now let’s just say pray for me. I seem to be at an impasse in my life (I should look that word up to see if it really fits), and I’m about to embark on an amazing experience. I deserve the change that will come!
I don’t know how to begin so that is what I will say and that usually brings the writing out of me. I feel actual pain each time I grab the scroll or this weeks Master Keys (week 24 by the way) my cards are lost I haven’t seen my BPB in weeks. The old blueprint temporarily won I have been hoping for the next start date so I can ‘do better this time.’
And bam life will never be the same the things that were important last week don’t mean a thing to me today. I have a hard time breathing because it hurts so bad. I can’t change it I could not have prevented it. One of my children that I was in process of adopting hurt my already adopted severely special needs child. No one could have stopped it no one is to blame it just hurts so bad.
On one hand I feel that If I had been faithful to the Master Keys program I could have handled this so much better! On the other hand I feel blessed that I have been as faithful as I was because I can feel the good that will come out of this. Change is good, this much change all at once feels like I’m being drug by the undercurrent in the ocean. Finances change, which means living conditions change…SCARY!!
Every drop of my being knows that digging into the awesome reading, my cards, find my BPB, cross a whole subject out of my DMP it’s only one paragraph that can’t be so difficult!? I often feel compelled to reach out to someone in my master mind, “this is too much to give to anyone” Hey Mark or Davene one of them they could handle it, but then I say to myself “you know exactly what to do Mark, Davene, the whole team taught you everything you need to know, you were on every webby you have done more than most people each and every day Crystal, You’ve got this walk around crying if you need to, if that is what it takes, feel it, then move on. You know how to go through the steps of loss you have done it more in the past 2 years then most people experience in a lifetime. You are amazing Crystal, You are strong, brave, powerful consistent person and you have always been.
You can do this Crystal, and with Ease! Breath, feel through every moment it won’t kill you just make you even more amazing.”
Thank you Mark & Davene Januszewski, Thank you Jen Dilks you all came at the perfect time in my life. I really am less of a mess than I would have been without the ‘Master Keys program’
Already!? Week 20? wow The internal battle lives on.
I was thinking just today that I need to ask a friend if she remembers exactly when I called her to tell her that I was so excited I realized that ‘I am Omnipotent’ because it may have very well been the next morning that it all really started; that battle of I’m so happy, I can do anything, can you Crystal? Are you sure!? Look at your life around every bend is yet another bridge to cross (or is it build). Yes I can and I will I’ll show you (old blueprint) I can do it…and so it goes.
The greatest feeling that I know is knowing that this is going on and I am winning!!
I always keep my promises,
I am Crystal Coffman the Voice for 1000’s of Children
I’m finding Happiness and Kindness all around me! I feel so much more open then I have in a long time. I was called ‘Sunshine’ all my life! I’m not sure when that stopped but it had. Licking wounds, healing, forgiving; this process has been exciting and devistating all at the same time. I have a long way to go. I’m not sure if ‘Sunshine’ is who I will be ‘again’ or if it will be someone completely new but I’m open to meet her, hold her tight and teach her how to handle the bumps in the road with more ease!