Tragedy has struck

I don’t know how to begin so that is what I will say and that usually brings the writing out of me. I feel actual pain each time I grab the scroll or this weeks Master Keys (week 24 by the way) my cards are lost I haven’t seen my BPB in weeks. The old blueprint temporarily won I have been hoping for the next start date so I can ‘do better this time.’

And bam life will never be the same the things that were important last week don’t mean a thing to me today. I have a hard time breathing because it hurts so bad. I can’t change it I could not have prevented it. One of my children that I was in process of adopting hurt my already adopted severely special needs child. No one could have stopped it no one is to blame it just hurts so bad.

On one hand I feel that If I had been failthful to the Master Keys program I could have handled this so much better! On the other hand I feel blessed that I have been as failthful as I was because I can feel the good that will come out of this. Change is good, this much change all at once feels like I’m being drug by the undercurrent in the ocean. Finances change, which means living conditions change…SCARY!!

Every drop of my being knows that digging into the awesome reading, my cards, find my BPB, cross a whole subject out of my DMP it’s only one paragraph that can’t be so difficult!? I often feel compelled to reach out to someone in my master mind, “this is too much to give to anyone” Hey Mark or Davene one of them they could handle it, but then I say to myself “you know exactly what to do Mark, Davene, the whole team taught you everything you need to know, you were on every webby you have done more than most people each and every day Crystal, You’ve got this walk around crying if you need to, if that is what it takes, feel it, then move on. You know how to go through the steps of loss you have done it more in the past 2 years then most people experience in a lifetime. You are amazing Crystal, You are strong, brave, powerful consistant person and you have always been.

You can do this Crystal, and with Ease! Breath, feel through every moment it won’t kill you just make you even more amazing.”

Thank you Mark & Davene Januszewski, Thank you Jen Delks you all came at the perfect time in my life. I really am less of a mess than I would have been without the ‘Master Keys program’

 

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Week 20

Already!? Week 20? wow The internal battle lives on.

I was thinking just today that I need to ask a friend if she remembers exactly when I called her to tell her that I was so excited I realized that ‘I am Omnipotent’ because it may have very well been the next morning that it all really started; that battle of I’m so happy, I can do anything, can you Crystal? Are you sure!? Look at your life around every bend is yet another bridge to cross (or is it build). Yes I can and I will I’ll show you (old blueprint) I can do it…and so it goes.

The greatest feeling that I know is knowing that this is going on and I am winning!!

I always keep my promises,

I am Crystal Coffman the Voice for 1000’s of Children

Week 17HJ

I’m finding Happiness and Kindness all around me! I feel so much more open then I have in a long time. I was called ‘Sunshine’ all my life!  I’m not sure when that stopped but it had. Licking wounds, healing, forgiving; this process has been exciting and devistating all at the same time. I have a long way to go. I’m not sure if ‘Sunshine’ is who I will be ‘again’ or if it will be someone completely new but I’m open to meet her, hold her tight and teach her how to handle the bumps in the road with more ease!

Week 17 Self Control

It is an interesting week for me. I should watch for ‘self control’ it is my choice for the week and then I forgot. Yup just plain forgot that I am watching for anything. Hello old blueprint and good bye because I will win. In the end I never give up and I am finally truely enjoying the process. I just give a healthy giggle and ‘do it now’. I observe, make a mental note and move on. I am happy and free.

I always keep my promises,

I am Crystal Coffman

Week 15 Cont….

OK I’ve got somethin… when I flash through my cards I am not sure on some of them if they are a one of my many great accomplishments, or for something I’m grateful for? I wonder should I have written ‘I am grateful for’ before what I felt grateful for.? huh … probably not because I’m actually feeling grateful that I am grateful for so much.

I am grateful for the past me. I am grateful that she had gone through so much to create who I am today.

I am grateful to the present me for the extreme stuggles that she is experiencing just to create a better place for the future me.

I am grateful to know the future me, she is my best friend, I am excited to think of the life that I am creating for her and our many adopted children, pets, gardens, personal chefs, drivers, gardeners, assistants; oops I digress and I am grateful that I have created a path that all she has to do is follow, feel love, give to Gods beautiful children and just enjoy.

OK so I guest this is the week where GRATEFUL becomes a feeling with tears and true emotions and not just part of the work

I am Crystal Coffman and I am Grateful

I always keep my promises

Oh and I am grateful that I can be a great writter! 🙂